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Our "Butterfly Ball 2020" is officially ended. Praising time! (02 Feb 2020)

February 2 to March 1 is the time to praise! How to do it?

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How to Become the First Teacher in your Toddler’s

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08 Dec 2011 12:27 #425 by hellene
Please, don't use the 'bribes' word, because it has nothing to do with the concept. Bribes is something that people give someone to make him/her do something in favor for a giver.
I am offering a concept of the ‘game’ for ‘interest’. Watch kids playing with each other! If they do not gain/lose something, there is no point to play! I see ‘music money’ not as a ‘trophy’ either! It is just old traditional way to motivate building new SKILLS.
Sense of accomplishment will appear later, when the routine is built. Our software will give plenty of precise statistics for competition with self.

Back to the Mozart

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08 Dec 2011 17:29 #433 by ttteh
I think rewards is only use at the initial stage to get the child comfortable and like what they are doing. Once they like doing the activity like playing the piano , reading, math or others, rewards no longer need to be use. Kids would probably forget about the reward once it is a routine.

Other things that I use to motivate my daughter to play is to play Youtube video of young children or toddler playing advance pieces. She probably had an impression that all children play piano. I always tell her that the children that she sees in the video practice a lot for their fingers to move freely on the piano. She is very eager to do her finger exercise and practice.

My daughter is also a perfectionist, with the software she want to score perfect score. She will want to play again on her own accord if the score is not perfect. She is learning to play completely stress free.
The following user(s) said Thank You: lzp11

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08 Dec 2011 21:43 #436 by Mandabplus3
I guess I will have to think on that. My study suggests that if it is offered before an activity ( to motivate) then it is a bribe, if it is spontaneously given after a result it is a reward. So it's a fine line.

I think the point you are making is to encourage participation by adding fun components, thus it is a GAME. This is indeed a good idea because it allows children to develop skills to a point where they WANT to develop their skills further and don't need the external game.
We all seem to agree but we all use different words. I understand many mums see bribes in a negative light. English is so limited I am sure the Chinese have the perfect word for it! For now I will use motivater :)

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09 Dec 2011 14:29 #438 by lzp11
There is a really fine line between a bribe and a reward! And loads of different definitions!! I read somewhere that a bribe is something that you give to stop BAD behaviour (e.g. stop screaming and I'll give you some chocolate...) which only encourages the bad behaviour to continue (Every time I scream I'll get some chocolate afterwards!). A reward is something that encourages GOOD behaviour and is planned in advance (If you get dressed quickly in the mornings then you can have one sticker and when you have 5 you can watch 5 minutes of your favourite TV programme....).

Either way, it's all about finding out what works for the individual child :)

TTTEH - I am fascinated by your daughter being a perfectionist already. Do you think that is her personality or is it something you have encouraged in her? I am one myself, but my daughter (who is younger than yours) gets very frustrated when she can't do something and is more likely to give up. I have to make sure that challenges are well within her reach otherwise she finds it too stressful.

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10 Dec 2011 05:06 #445 by ttteh
Izp11

I think it is her personality to be perfectionist. When we started with SoftMozart, she would play the introductory songs and whenever a note was played incorrectly (with spider icon), she would stop and request to start all over again. I have to constantly remind her to at least finish the song. After some time, she understand that it is common to make mistake when she started to play a piece and then she will improve the more she practices. I do request my daughter to put in her best in all her work. Is requesting her to do her best being perfectionist? :unsure:

Few months back, my daughter also tell me that she can't do certain things when the activity is achievable. I notice that positive affirmation had work well with her. I follow tweedlewink "Expand your heart, expand your mind, you can achieve your highest potential, you can do it and well done". I still tell her this affirmation every night.

I also set a routine to practice after dinner everyday except Friday for 1/2 hour. Sometimes she can go up to 45 minutes of practice. At the beginning around 3 year old probably it was only 15 - 20 minutes. I would also layout may expectation of what we want to achieve for piano lesson. This has work great for all the activities that I have given her. At the beginning, I would write on the white board the names of the songs she would play and P (Both hands with colour note) and PH (Both hands without notes for memory). Then I would check it of once she played them. This way she knows when she will move to the next activity either to play with her brother or games. Now we no longer need to use the board as she knows the routine. Sometimes, she will request to stop playing half way but I will tell her the songs that we have not covered and then we continue our lesson.
The following user(s) said Thank You: lzp11, NadiaD

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11 Dec 2011 13:45 #450 by lzp11
ttteh

You really are doing a wonderful job supporting and encouraging your daughter to learn, it is so inspiring :cheer:

I completely agree with asking children to do their best - we talk a lot about trying hard, and I try to praise effort even more than succeeding.

That is really interesting about the positive affirmations. I have found that when my girl is upset or angry then giving some positive messages can help her to come out of it and I will definitely try this when we are learning too. Great idea, thank you.

Also I found hearing your routine really helpful. I don't think I am structured enough sometimes. I think I might buy a whiteboard now!! It is great hearing how you have adapted the approach to work for you both. Please keep us up to date with your progress and also any tips on teaching. :)

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